> Last night my boyfriend opens up a KitKat and JUST TAKES A BITE OUT OF IT. ����A��BKK����������1�s.��������7ǔZ���rP���P:�H�S&"fe%�Z[ 37 0 obj �\ |�$ A four foot squirrel would probably be a real tough matchup. �z@� �0& Your name is mud. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� At one point, I saw a squirrel sprint along the top of a fence, leap at full extension to a tiny thin branch, and do the equivalent of 10 pull-ups in about 5 seconds to before it could launch itself to a sturdier branch and scurry the rest of the way up the tree. 25 0 obj The sheer quantity of carbs triggers my PTSD of my old eating habits. If my dog decided one day to bite me as hard as he could and then run away at top speed, I would be pretty powerless. stream .� Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. stream Am I alone in this? �����c����� k�� But just get into the habit of wearing those wool socks, even if it takes an extra 15 seconds, and your problem is solved. Jeopardy! endobj T o describe any object, you can tell about its size, shape, colour , texture or its function, whatever is relevant. The shame you feel about bigotry you may have joined in on in the past is its own consequence. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. It includes built-in pure PHP support for IMAP and SMTP, and renders all pages in … stream x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� stream (My creepy cat will then come over and bury her face in my discarded stench bags and huff like a 90’s teenager who smuggled a can of paint thinner into their bedroom, but this isn’t about kink-shaming my cat).I have found a better solution is a nice thick pair of socks and some simple, cheap sandals (the kind without a toe thong, obviously). endobj <> Every time that has almost happened, the villain has been foiled while explaining their scheme for world domination. endstream � I think people who’ve done horrible things still deserve a chance to be a productive member of society. But once that thing reaches the 3-foot-6 mark, if it still has its quickness and explosive first step, my money is on the rodent. There is something so deeply satisfying about getting a clean edge on your Kit Kat. It seems like it would be an uncomplicated simple pleasure to slip my feet into a pair of soft, fluffy slippers as go about my morning, relax in the evening, or work all day remotely in my pajamas. Without access, without favor, without discretion, and without interference. The most effective response is to describe your responsibilities and accomplishments in detail and connect them to the job for which you are interviewing. Five feet I’m definitely going down. 30 0 obj Dave, sorry to burst your bubble because this question was obviously meant for Drew. 27 0 obj Sorry to let you down, but Drew is on vacation this week, which means I’ve been bestowed the honor of hosting the last Funbag of 2020. 15 0 obj �!>� My wife thinks this is weird, but it never occurred to me to dip with the corner. %PDF-1.4 Biting into one simply shows no regard for order, cleanliness, or the accepted rules of a society that admittedly may be fundamentally flawed. My childhood dream of being white suburban Lou Diamond Phillips in La Bamba was rapidly shattered by my diminutive digits. Do you think cis people ever feel the real consequences of bigotry they’ve perpetuated in the past? �\ |�# endobj %KO�c� H��ҲHH�Ml�X� �M'?��t�(�Pg �9+���1�j�B��܉PoR��9n�:�� ���� �+��`t&:��N�q� q�[�; �^b����D�ld�`h❫M�6$��`�&E������ps�k� �y��d�j�g�&�0}(/]�� ��t%��&5iHXH]�L�71��y�Ѡ b�L$ֆE+/�WőwBh��o#�aĺU^���A'ሜE�4[���:�,r6O� AB���1+AjO*N�>�zCg&�����uȳ$���Tk�`D����Q�O��2��i�����"c d��Q���W�])K{e�K� Why are some NFL head coaches (e.g., Patricia, Reid, Crennel) so horrendously out of shape? They even make those thicc, single-bar Kit Kats for people like your boyfriend specifically so they could be part of a different Kit Kat eating society. <> /Resources <> stream endobj What’s your advice to slowly get the unhealthy stuff out of our apartment? Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy, and the thriller, To Hunt a Sub. endobj Print IHWH games for scores of topics, including addition, time, multiplication, sates & capitals, contractions, money, and more. If I got even one tweet from a member of The Squad about my brave campaign against the threat of killer squirrels and of taxing the rich, I could generate enough support as an anti-establishment candidate who is truly for the people. <> So who’s the next Bill Bradley/Jim Bunning type? � endstream �!>� Luke, as the owner of a 14-pound, Chihuahua/min-pin dog named Boba (aka Bobatino, aka Little Guy with a Big Butt, aka Brazilian soccer star Bobatinho), I’m here to say that we in general need to be more afraid of animals. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� .� x���ar�:��m��`%�J�+VRXI�J�4���NcG�����ӄ�v_�������� ��_� �BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB�5]m�۵���z���X~T�wu�P��\�:�-zBBBBBB�(����������臭��*�~��LOaBaBaBaBaBa[)Q���_���Wzq��GUY�Xuδ��g�y� !L!L!L!L!L!L!L�p�+m��;���$��-�'�0!�0!�0!�0!�0!�0%�������Y-n�_���D�#�&�&�&�&���E� ��0��}��#NQ��7J!L!L!L!L!,P������V���轊S���'�&�&�&�&�ֶDqA�s�Xq�^�� SzBBBBBB��DO=��~��\?^a�Z|�~����‰�„„„„„¶R����6[^�|�x��(�ʳ�Q��DOp��„„„„„¶� L�2Q}=�[�i�G�J�9г&�ߤ'�0!�0!�0!�0!�0!����(��7-�l�p�s���G�\�9�s��,���!� !� !� !� !�֬����-*���E9'��t�خ=!� !� !� !� !� !�m}A����W.hq�F#Z���q4��QzBBBBBB��DO���*�6d��Њ�B�� !L!L!L!L!L!,0��*�[^�j�9�z�A}�(��/����„„„„„„¶2���f�>Z|�Y�X����mn�mYBOaBaBaBaBaBa[�_�}���f���l��s�\�lzBBBBBB��ht�8>Z�*KojɦJ/zBBBBBB��X%�HH�ɋZ�}�j������X�����'�0!�0!�0!�0!�0!���\�b֥/�^�w�����9�����(�� !� !� !� !� !�me���S*��Ѩ�n���N�U�E'�&�&�&�&����!�՞{� ���ms}���FQ �!� !� !� !� !� !�m�N�s���5�m�o��s(S7ۜ�n��„„„„„¶� L\��Ie�FK�,��m�ܦ�L�qBaBaBaBaBamK�1��96����hj��7_������ !L!L!L!L!L!,P����Lf�\:���3��GQ,g\? Powerful & Easy to Use Features. � Other major professional sport coaches/managers have similar hours/stress levels and yet are more physically fit. 8 0 obj Instead they let people think lighter = better, and sell lots of light KBs and and let people pound away on them. Imagine a world without Facebook. Because he is not here to defend himself, I can say ol’ Mayo Magary loves nothing more than big, honking scoops of mayo on everything he eats. endobj stream endobj He doesn’t break off a piece of that KitKat and eat it stick by stick. Or did the changes start after the pandy hit? ��>a�+U� �SC*E��LKf�=���xJ�7 stream �z@� �0& Also, what would your campaign slogan be? stream Get to know the amazing wildlife in your backyard and beyond. stream You overthought this one, Jonathan. x��< �Tŵ��vE���W�U��r " <> stream I already look like one of the old people from a Life Alert commercial when I try to wrangle Boba in the apartment and he runs to hide under the coffee table. � What am I missing? America is privileged with a stunning array of animals, plants, and wild destinations—each with its own incredible story. � Your ass is grass. One album I understand, but two seems like it can’t really be a fluke. But because there are enough white men hosting things, I’ll throw out a couple other names: • Hasan Minhaj. I’m a newly out trans girl and the whole transition process has got me thinking. .� I understand the novelty of a shiny NHL expansion team but am I a cumurgeon for holding off until they actually play an actual game. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� endobj (I’m 5’11”, 170). 13 0 obj x���� �@A5�����������{n}�?`�������������������������������'G�,++++++p:������8� �\ } ' <> Enjoy it before the crushing despair of loss after loss takes over. He then tells me that he bites into Hershey bars too, doesn’t bother to break off the individual squares. As an adult who lives alone, oftentimes I know what the right thing to do is and opt for the lazier option anyway. � He’s obviously smart, and his social media presence would make it appear he’d approach the proceedings with an even more biting wit than Trebek. That’s how I ended up with a zucchini that turned to literal dust in my vegetable drawer last week. There’s no way he wouldn’t win a political seat in South Carolina. My girlfriend and I recently moved in together, and apparently I cook “too healthy” for her liking. � Got something on your mind? I own a retail shop and we take lots of orders over the phone, with customers paying by credit card over the phone too. Send a story tip to, Defector Freelancer Policies, Created In Partnership With The National Writers Union. This made me think, what’s the largest squirrel I could beat in a fight? And my latest torrid affair with Golden Grahams was just as passionate as it was when I was a teenager. 29 0 obj What if the owner group/coach/team turnout to be a bunch of asswipes? �\ |�& 1 0 obj Corners don’t hold enough salsa. �z@� �0& <> �����c����� k�� So, in all honesty, what characteristic of Trump’s, were he to describe it in your presence, would make you shamefully admit, “Yeah, me too.”. <> 3 0 obj Reading about storing tortilla chips in the fridge reminded me:I dip triangular tortilla chips into salsa with the side. As far as your living situation, this is a little complicated. Your question is a great one for modern society, and if I had to answer, I would say no. What current professional or high-profile amateur athlete might have a successful political career? <> I’m pretty sure he was at Mt Rushmore to give a speech, but I don’t think National Monuments should count for this. Allison! 5 0 obj x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� ��ebbbbbN���������C`Y�X�X�X�X�X��!��@�@�@�@�@�@���XV V V V V V�t,++++++p:������������������U�YV V1=�M,+����&b^����&�xbb?��t If so, which one? What is the right protocol? �����c����� k�� I’m a firm believer in restorative justice. Drew’s most Trumpian quality is that he also loves mayonnaise. �����c����� ke� endobj ,++++++p:������8� x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� � As for Fitzpatrick, I don’t have much to say about his kids. <> Your uncle can’t send you a news story about how someone saying your name while you sleep can give you brain damage. Two whole albums worth of good music is equivalent to like, 4,845 viral TikToks. Another difference between you and the squirrel is that in a fight, you’re probably trying to get the squirrel to run away. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� Or maybe you’re also sexually attracted to Ivanka, or you’re a Covid super-spreader. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ <> /Resources 28 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 67 >> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has kind of set the blueprint for how people from everyday backgrounds can get into politics. You’re a progressive guy in one of the country’s bluest states with a bit of name recognition, so I feel like the state legislature could be possible for you. endobj 34 0 obj x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� squirrel_widget_192534. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� endobj 1 enemy in my household (which consists of only me). stream Your girlfriend is obviously in charge of her own body and what she wants to put in it. I’d be pretty surprised if he didn’t get the gig. I was listening to another podcast and they said The Offspring is overrated because they are a “two album wonder”. I live in New England in an old house in which the floors are always somehow roughly -50°C. It hurt like hell and I appreciate the winces from all the men in the audience, but I was wondering if I was possibly the first person to hit himself in the nuts this way? � Every time I spell out my last name for someone, it’s almost always the first time they’ve heard in their life. What’s your thoughts on getting behind a new sports franchise? �z@� �0& <> � I have not done a study of the fitness of professional coaches, but I’m not sure you’re right about the cross-sport comparison. stream w�8����y�6Չ���s���j�+�1TY� �CW�.����1Q]s�������J�)arEb�jS���B�v�!��?��5��@�h�E��HT HI��4r#}s��I����%�U�lz� If the squirrel has home-field advantage, it merely needs to injure and scurry repeatedly and you would be in danger of a Leo in The Revenant situation. <> .� <> x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� �z@� �0& Or do you think you’d hit the ceiling at Montgomery County Council or School Board? stream l�H�R Da�u��� 9�`�C�#RP���$~�A��NIHB�� W$����! �\ }+ �!>& Please give an “OK” after each sequence of numbers! ���I�� ���CЂ�|f�A���2aP7�xzh���rCSfrF���i(G�g��beedLP� ���q�F:�F��TH�_Kk �L�� <> �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ 35 0 obj If you want to make the encyclopedia, you’re going to have to let Goldfinger finish the job. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ <> 18 0 obj My only question about her eating habits is have they always been this way? Download SquirrelMail for free. As for me, like Trump, I genuinely love giving people nicknames. If you've got yourself a good camera and sufficient lighting, then the next logical step is a green screen. More and more customers are using image search to look for products prior to purchase — can you afford to miss out? �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ It’s way more fun to imagine him imitating the Kool-Aid Man as the Chiefs hang 50 on another defenseless opponent. • Hilaria Baldwin. endstream The Hershey thing actually doesn’t bother me much; after all, the song doesn’t go “Break me off a piece of that Her-shey bar!” But as far as the Kit Kat goes, yeah, your boyfriend is an absolute pervert. Knicks and Mets fans wouldn’t know what to do if a good team slapped them in the face. 12 0 obj 23 0 obj Given all the knowledge the average American (you, for instance) has of the technological and medical advances we enjoy in 2020, how far back in history could you go and help them make a technological/medical leap (assuming they did not burn you as a witch)?I have an iPhone, but my explanation of an iPhone to someone in the 1980s would be “like that communicator thing on Star Trek” for all I know about how it works. 6 0 obj endstream My stoned brain was amazed and thought, wow, if that squirrel was as big as me it could absolutely beat the shit out of me. endobj Thank you for bringing up Ryan Fitzpatrick, who is currently the No. stream endobj Lisa, don’t forget Ohio Rep. Anthony E. Gonzalez! �����c����� kl� I have never heard of anyone mashing their testicles this way and I want my name next to the entry in the nut-crushing encyclopedia. 26 0 obj Getting a new team is very exciting, and this period of hope is arguably the best time to be a fan. I’ll consider any potential answers except Steve Harvey and Ryan Seacrest. The issue we have right now is bridging the gap between people who want to be better and the victims of their wrongdoings. stream Seems like we need to agree as a society here. ��ebbbbbN���������C`Y�X�X�X�X�X��!��@�@�@�@�@���XV V V V V V�t,+++++++pg������8� Living with shame of your past actions can often drive you to be a better person. Example: Also, the majority of these so-called “advancements” have really come to the benefit of a de facto ruling class, and have greatly helped in increasing income inequality. stream stream You have to separate the chaff from the wheat. Drew is off this week. Poems for children includes poems for kids, famous children poems and poems by kids. It’s possible you also just have some sweaty-ass feet. So using my average American knowledge, in lieu of going back to the 1900s and giving those racists the internet, I would simply go back to February 2004, and instead of letting Mark Zuckerberg invent Facebook, I would take him to the nearest brothel so he could exchange money for sex instead of creating a website to spite women. There is no such thing as a two-album fluke, especially in 2020. �z@� �0& Because Trump is a big baby, he definitely complained the whole way on the drive to the park, then was in awe as soon as he got there. <> �z@� �0& �z@� �0& endstream I don’t know what we do about that! Let people be fans! If there’s a way to inflict pain on testicles, whether on accident or purpose, man has done it. 22 0 obj Thank you for posting a colorful slideshow about how mRNA vaccines work, Jennifer, but I’m still clicking through that thing without reading a single word. Expansion squads—Vegas hockey excluded—almost always suck right away. Instead of framing it as advice, have you told your girlfriend about your own experience with food? +�p�٧��A��q}̾�����_b���Օ�и�����B8�+���2@T��P� R�>�~�2 Plus mid-day snacks of cereal and milk. endobj �!>� endobj �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ endstream And buy Drew’s new novel while you’re at it. He probably sucks the chocolate off, saves the wafers, and calls them his babies. He’s been, if only to see if he can build a golf course or hotel on or over the reason the space exists as a national park in the first place. <> What are the terms of this fight with a squirrel? Bum. 21 0 obj endstream And yet, 90% of the time I still opt for the slippers, because it is less work, or I’m conditioned to do this by Big Slipper. What if they suck ass? Do I definitely enjoy my iPhone? Namely about how all the transphobic jokes and memes I used to laugh at and share back in high school are now coming back to personally bite me in the ass. endobj 31 0 obj Not in like an “Oh no now they’re coming to cancel me!” way. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I know we drag Marmalard for running his own Christian days camp filled with his gaggle of kids, but did you know Ryan Fitzpatrick has SEVEN kids?! <> endobj The only way left to be “hit” in the nuts is to be strapped to a chair by a supervillain with a laser slowly creeping up to your groin. Signed, Rohan Madkami. �;�eu*��o Ds]y�R��M�p|#����O�]�bj�*7�Ԁi�X�:��4�>�f�6��%*��J;a�V3� 6P� bC*����hj"�:EPn��2/��p1 !lD�!��$TE™�sKhY����ŮPX?d���#���C��U@ Are you meeting in a ring/octagon? I bet Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t even bite into his Kit Kats. 9 0 obj So please, let’s all agree to be active listeners from this point forward. I assume, for you, it would be the penchant for ALL CAPS HYPERBOLE. Ultimately, I do think you could probably get away with kicking a three-foot squirrel enough to survive. What is your most Trumpian quality? Something you think we should know? In other situations, I feel as if the average cis person is either unaware of the bigotry they’ve perpetuated, or at the other end of the spectrum, feels really guilty about it. <> � endobj x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� .� Me, I have terrible taste in food (pretty much every food conversation on the pod feels like a personal attack) and am also cursed with tiny hand syndrome. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ Another difference between you and the squirrel is that in a fight, you’re probably trying to get the squirrel to run away. Or are slippers bullshit? I think that’s a much more appropriate conversation to have and one that would resonate with her more than whatever concerns you have about her diet. endstream 4 0 obj endobj I like your chances better inside of a human-made structure because that mitigates the squirrel’s speed. You're all washed up. �h!�h���“j,�g2h�"f��gĉ��qMmR�:�Y{@C&�05I�h�-��z��$C��. s%��'�e8 ���k�;cRs��A���?S,4~(CZ��N��B�����O�$(.t9��|��[jW�T��wG�@�gVZP�?��e�$"iKW� �Ndgaھ"DqY��`X�R��E��H�K�p~�G�S9H��m�p��vK�E�!�(�M��o8:q���X��# endstream endstream 7 0 obj �\ }) x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� ��Dp�H�l3Y�� (�����I� S��C��Zǵ�(�g�Uȫ��aTQ"F�DCm�� P։t��u�r�my�H�`tV�*��!IV�����jRL>I�����(v��d�XC���đ�ن��2�Ơ��NG�ua���2��dm�;Yl�{ª(+#Vh�6�5*�D 20 0 obj He’s a former opera singer (check), who at least outwardly relates to other people well (check), doesn’t seem to be obnoxious (check), has a classic talk show host voice (check), is just recognizable enough (check), and is just enough of a smart ass to dump on people who give stupid answers without ruining the fun (double check).Do you have any other ideas? � I would definitely trust LeBron as president. First of all, congratulations to your girlfriend, who is eating my dream diet. I started calling my friend Yoni “Yon Capone” when we were teenagers and the moniker has stuck for well over a decade. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ So let’s turn the tables and let Minhaj host, even though he only scored a 1310 on his SATs. �����c����� ks� �z@� �0& Are we doomed to be dealing with Senator Tawmmy in 10 years? (Shout out to my friend Ashley Fetters who named Dabo immediately when I described the kind of person who would be elected in 2020.). Though he admittedly had a largely forgettable football career as one of Peyton Manning’s sacrificial lambs running across the middle of the field for the Colts, he’s been in the House of Representatives since 2018. 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how would you describe a squirrel

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I would love to say a great athlete will eventually enter politics. Is it a random encounter happening in the woods? Setting aside the cancellations that happen to our more famous and/or public counterparts, I would say rarely do cis people feel real consequences of bigotry they’ve perpetuated. He would be an absolute disaster of a senator, and yet somehow I still see that as a more viable option for Dabo than NFL coach. <> 14 0 obj /Length 675 >> >> stream could use a strong, immigrant voice to usher in a new era. /XObject <> Poetry is a wonderful and fun way to introduce children of all ages to Literature. �����ch����� {C You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. endobj stream If the squirrel has home-field advantage, it merely needs to injure and scurry repeatedly and you would be in danger of a Leo in The Revenant situation. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ .� x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� I generally go out of my way from keeping snacks in my apartment for this exact reason. I am typically not one to shame anyone for their eating habits (see: the above question) but 99 percent of the fun of a Kit Kat is snapping off one of the bars! Now that the presidential transition is finally underway, I’m focusing my attention on the next important transition – the host of Jeopardy. .� 10 0 obj ���M���e��F����"�E6Yi߆-#�0L�D��)��=b09M�-L�b� �C�`X ;�EH2IJV#��C�ۑ�j_2���2���,� a��@j� ��ӑ����]!V�D �ȼXɖI�B ��q��]8 d5{�� �P`5iLH�M�t�m�'LmPH��:;�� a6������;�� �*Ю7ӈ�dc|� endstream I kick them off, and thanks to evaporative cooling my feet instantly freeze solid. Now, as far as your own PTSD of eating habits goes, that’s a very real problem. endobj � stream �����c����� k�� As much as we can try to be better people, people who’ve made mistakes also have to accept that sometimes those they’ve wronged may never be the same because of the hurt they’ve caused. stream I know that in my past I’ve said things that were heinously ignorant, and I like to believe today I strive to be as inclusive a person as possible. We just elected another astronaut to the Senate, but we don’t currently have any notable former pro athletes in there. Explore our everyday life, the best source for food and drink tips, health and general wellness, healthy relationships and much more. So please get yourself ready for Senator Dabo Swinney. endobj 39 0 obj Hello, everyone. stream �z@� �0& I take pride in creating long-lasting nicknames. iL!��t����!2'M�N�*�&�Op �*?�1T$e6•1��� �0D�=Ŝ m��v+~P\(��� ���-&o��0(C��V0n�.�$����k� T�r@�i4�O̪��-#�r����� 99�)R˽%�pe��?A���I< stream .� He bites it. Gillian, by any chance are you dating Yankees slugger Giancarlo Stanton? endobj As a Seattle resident, there’s a fair amount of Kraken gear being sported already. /Resources 28 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 67 >> Last night my boyfriend opens up a KitKat and JUST TAKES A BITE OUT OF IT. ����A��BKK����������1�s.��������7ǔZ���rP���P:�H�S&"fe%�Z[ 37 0 obj �\ |�$ A four foot squirrel would probably be a real tough matchup. �z@� �0& Your name is mud. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� At one point, I saw a squirrel sprint along the top of a fence, leap at full extension to a tiny thin branch, and do the equivalent of 10 pull-ups in about 5 seconds to before it could launch itself to a sturdier branch and scurry the rest of the way up the tree. 25 0 obj The sheer quantity of carbs triggers my PTSD of my old eating habits. If my dog decided one day to bite me as hard as he could and then run away at top speed, I would be pretty powerless. stream .� Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. stream Am I alone in this? �����c����� k�� But just get into the habit of wearing those wool socks, even if it takes an extra 15 seconds, and your problem is solved. Jeopardy! endobj T o describe any object, you can tell about its size, shape, colour , texture or its function, whatever is relevant. The shame you feel about bigotry you may have joined in on in the past is its own consequence. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. It includes built-in pure PHP support for IMAP and SMTP, and renders all pages in … stream x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� stream (My creepy cat will then come over and bury her face in my discarded stench bags and huff like a 90’s teenager who smuggled a can of paint thinner into their bedroom, but this isn’t about kink-shaming my cat).I have found a better solution is a nice thick pair of socks and some simple, cheap sandals (the kind without a toe thong, obviously). endobj <> Every time that has almost happened, the villain has been foiled while explaining their scheme for world domination. endstream � I think people who’ve done horrible things still deserve a chance to be a productive member of society. But once that thing reaches the 3-foot-6 mark, if it still has its quickness and explosive first step, my money is on the rodent. There is something so deeply satisfying about getting a clean edge on your Kit Kat. It seems like it would be an uncomplicated simple pleasure to slip my feet into a pair of soft, fluffy slippers as go about my morning, relax in the evening, or work all day remotely in my pajamas. Without access, without favor, without discretion, and without interference. The most effective response is to describe your responsibilities and accomplishments in detail and connect them to the job for which you are interviewing. Five feet I’m definitely going down. 30 0 obj Dave, sorry to burst your bubble because this question was obviously meant for Drew. 27 0 obj Sorry to let you down, but Drew is on vacation this week, which means I’ve been bestowed the honor of hosting the last Funbag of 2020. 15 0 obj �!>� My wife thinks this is weird, but it never occurred to me to dip with the corner. %PDF-1.4 Biting into one simply shows no regard for order, cleanliness, or the accepted rules of a society that admittedly may be fundamentally flawed. My childhood dream of being white suburban Lou Diamond Phillips in La Bamba was rapidly shattered by my diminutive digits. Do you think cis people ever feel the real consequences of bigotry they’ve perpetuated in the past? �\ |�# endobj %KO�c� H��ҲHH�Ml�X� �M'?��t�(�Pg �9+���1�j�B��܉PoR��9n�:�� ���� �+��`t&:��N�q� q�[�; �^b����D�ld�`h❫M�6$��`�&E������ps�k� �y��d�j�g�&�0}(/]�� ��t%��&5iHXH]�L�71��y�Ѡ b�L$ֆE+/�WőwBh��o#�aĺU^���A'ሜE�4[���:�,r6O� AB���1+AjO*N�>�zCg&�����uȳ$���Tk�`D����Q�O��2��i�����"c d��Q���W�])K{e�K� Why are some NFL head coaches (e.g., Patricia, Reid, Crennel) so horrendously out of shape? They even make those thicc, single-bar Kit Kats for people like your boyfriend specifically so they could be part of a different Kit Kat eating society. <> /Resources <> stream endobj What’s your advice to slowly get the unhealthy stuff out of our apartment? Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy, and the thriller, To Hunt a Sub. endobj Print IHWH games for scores of topics, including addition, time, multiplication, sates & capitals, contractions, money, and more. If I got even one tweet from a member of The Squad about my brave campaign against the threat of killer squirrels and of taxing the rich, I could generate enough support as an anti-establishment candidate who is truly for the people. <> So who’s the next Bill Bradley/Jim Bunning type? � endstream �!>� Luke, as the owner of a 14-pound, Chihuahua/min-pin dog named Boba (aka Bobatino, aka Little Guy with a Big Butt, aka Brazilian soccer star Bobatinho), I’m here to say that we in general need to be more afraid of animals. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� .� x���ar�:��m��`%�J�+VRXI�J�4���NcG�����ӄ�v_�������� ��_� �BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB�5]m�۵���z���X~T�wu�P��\�:�-zBBBBBB�(����������臭��*�~��LOaBaBaBaBaBa[)Q���_���Wzq��GUY�Xuδ��g�y� !L!L!L!L!L!L!L�p�+m��;���$��-�'�0!�0!�0!�0!�0!�0%�������Y-n�_���D�#�&�&�&�&���E� ��0��}��#NQ��7J!L!L!L!L!,P������V���轊S���'�&�&�&�&�ֶDqA�s�Xq�^�� SzBBBBBB��DO=��~��\?^a�Z|�~����‰�„„„„„¶R����6[^�|�x��(�ʳ�Q��DOp��„„„„„¶� L�2Q}=�[�i�G�J�9г&�ߤ'�0!�0!�0!�0!�0!����(��7-�l�p�s���G�\�9�s��,���!� !� !� !� !�֬����-*���E9'��t�خ=!� !� !� !� !� !�m}A����W.hq�F#Z���q4��QzBBBBBB��DO���*�6d��Њ�B�� !L!L!L!L!L!,0��*�[^�j�9�z�A}�(��/����„„„„„„¶2���f�>Z|�Y�X����mn�mYBOaBaBaBaBaBa[�_�}���f���l��s�\�lzBBBBBB��ht�8>Z�*KojɦJ/zBBBBBB��X%�HH�ɋZ�}�j������X�����'�0!�0!�0!�0!�0!���\�b֥/�^�w�����9�����(�� !� !� !� !� !�me���S*��Ѩ�n���N�U�E'�&�&�&�&����!�՞{� ���ms}���FQ �!� !� !� !� !� !�m�N�s���5�m�o��s(S7ۜ�n��„„„„„¶� L\��Ie�FK�,��m�ܦ�L�qBaBaBaBaBamK�1��96����hj��7_������ !L!L!L!L!L!,P����Lf�\:���3��GQ,g\? Powerful & Easy to Use Features. � Other major professional sport coaches/managers have similar hours/stress levels and yet are more physically fit. 8 0 obj Instead they let people think lighter = better, and sell lots of light KBs and and let people pound away on them. Imagine a world without Facebook. Because he is not here to defend himself, I can say ol’ Mayo Magary loves nothing more than big, honking scoops of mayo on everything he eats. endobj stream endobj He doesn’t break off a piece of that KitKat and eat it stick by stick. Or did the changes start after the pandy hit? ��>a�+U� �SC*E��LKf�=���xJ�7 stream �z@� �0& Also, what would your campaign slogan be? stream Get to know the amazing wildlife in your backyard and beyond. stream You overthought this one, Jonathan. x��< �Tŵ��vE���W�U��r " <> stream I already look like one of the old people from a Life Alert commercial when I try to wrangle Boba in the apartment and he runs to hide under the coffee table. � What am I missing? America is privileged with a stunning array of animals, plants, and wild destinations—each with its own incredible story. � Your ass is grass. One album I understand, but two seems like it can’t really be a fluke. But because there are enough white men hosting things, I’ll throw out a couple other names: • Hasan Minhaj. I’m a newly out trans girl and the whole transition process has got me thinking. .� I understand the novelty of a shiny NHL expansion team but am I a cumurgeon for holding off until they actually play an actual game. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� endobj (I’m 5’11”, 170). 13 0 obj x���� �@A5�����������{n}�?`�������������������������������'G�,++++++p:������8� �\ } ' <> Enjoy it before the crushing despair of loss after loss takes over. He then tells me that he bites into Hershey bars too, doesn’t bother to break off the individual squares. As an adult who lives alone, oftentimes I know what the right thing to do is and opt for the lazier option anyway. � He’s obviously smart, and his social media presence would make it appear he’d approach the proceedings with an even more biting wit than Trebek. That’s how I ended up with a zucchini that turned to literal dust in my vegetable drawer last week. There’s no way he wouldn’t win a political seat in South Carolina. My girlfriend and I recently moved in together, and apparently I cook “too healthy” for her liking. � Got something on your mind? I own a retail shop and we take lots of orders over the phone, with customers paying by credit card over the phone too. Send a story tip to, Defector Freelancer Policies, Created In Partnership With The National Writers Union. This made me think, what’s the largest squirrel I could beat in a fight? And my latest torrid affair with Golden Grahams was just as passionate as it was when I was a teenager. 29 0 obj What if the owner group/coach/team turnout to be a bunch of asswipes? �\ |�& 1 0 obj Corners don’t hold enough salsa. �z@� �0& <> �����c����� k�� So, in all honesty, what characteristic of Trump’s, were he to describe it in your presence, would make you shamefully admit, “Yeah, me too.”. <> 3 0 obj Reading about storing tortilla chips in the fridge reminded me:I dip triangular tortilla chips into salsa with the side. As far as your living situation, this is a little complicated. Your question is a great one for modern society, and if I had to answer, I would say no. What current professional or high-profile amateur athlete might have a successful political career? <> I’m pretty sure he was at Mt Rushmore to give a speech, but I don’t think National Monuments should count for this. Allison! 5 0 obj x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� ��ebbbbbN���������C`Y�X�X�X�X�X��!��@�@�@�@�@�@���XV V V V V V�t,++++++p:������������������U�YV V1=�M,+����&b^����&�xbb?��t If so, which one? What is the right protocol? �����c����� k�� I’m a firm believer in restorative justice. Drew’s most Trumpian quality is that he also loves mayonnaise. �����c����� ke� endobj ,++++++p:������8� x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� � As for Fitzpatrick, I don’t have much to say about his kids. <> Your uncle can’t send you a news story about how someone saying your name while you sleep can give you brain damage. Two whole albums worth of good music is equivalent to like, 4,845 viral TikToks. Another difference between you and the squirrel is that in a fight, you’re probably trying to get the squirrel to run away. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� Or maybe you’re also sexually attracted to Ivanka, or you’re a Covid super-spreader. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ <> /Resources 28 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode /Length 67 >> Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has kind of set the blueprint for how people from everyday backgrounds can get into politics. You’re a progressive guy in one of the country’s bluest states with a bit of name recognition, so I feel like the state legislature could be possible for you. endobj 34 0 obj x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� squirrel_widget_192534. x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� endobj 1 enemy in my household (which consists of only me). stream Your girlfriend is obviously in charge of her own body and what she wants to put in it. I’d be pretty surprised if he didn’t get the gig. I was listening to another podcast and they said The Offspring is overrated because they are a “two album wonder”. I live in New England in an old house in which the floors are always somehow roughly -50°C. It hurt like hell and I appreciate the winces from all the men in the audience, but I was wondering if I was possibly the first person to hit himself in the nuts this way? � Every time I spell out my last name for someone, it’s almost always the first time they’ve heard in their life. What’s your thoughts on getting behind a new sports franchise? �z@� �0& <> � I have not done a study of the fitness of professional coaches, but I’m not sure you’re right about the cross-sport comparison. stream w�8����y�6Չ���s���j�+�1TY� �CW�.����1Q]s�������J�)arEb�jS���B�v�!��?��5��@�h�E��HT HI��4r#}s��I����%�U�lz� If the squirrel has home-field advantage, it merely needs to injure and scurry repeatedly and you would be in danger of a Leo in The Revenant situation. <> .� <> x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� �z@� �0& Or do you think you’d hit the ceiling at Montgomery County Council or School Board? stream l�H�R Da�u��� 9�`�C�#RP���$~�A��NIHB�� W$����! �\ }+ �!>& Please give an “OK” after each sequence of numbers! ���I�� ���CЂ�|f�A���2aP7�xzh���rCSfrF���i(G�g��beedLP� ���q�F:�F��TH�_Kk �L�� <> �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ 35 0 obj If you want to make the encyclopedia, you’re going to have to let Goldfinger finish the job. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ <> 18 0 obj My only question about her eating habits is have they always been this way? Download SquirrelMail for free. As for me, like Trump, I genuinely love giving people nicknames. If you've got yourself a good camera and sufficient lighting, then the next logical step is a green screen. More and more customers are using image search to look for products prior to purchase — can you afford to miss out? �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ It’s way more fun to imagine him imitating the Kool-Aid Man as the Chiefs hang 50 on another defenseless opponent. • Hilaria Baldwin. endstream The Hershey thing actually doesn’t bother me much; after all, the song doesn’t go “Break me off a piece of that Her-shey bar!” But as far as the Kit Kat goes, yeah, your boyfriend is an absolute pervert. Knicks and Mets fans wouldn’t know what to do if a good team slapped them in the face. 12 0 obj 23 0 obj Given all the knowledge the average American (you, for instance) has of the technological and medical advances we enjoy in 2020, how far back in history could you go and help them make a technological/medical leap (assuming they did not burn you as a witch)?I have an iPhone, but my explanation of an iPhone to someone in the 1980s would be “like that communicator thing on Star Trek” for all I know about how it works. 6 0 obj endstream My stoned brain was amazed and thought, wow, if that squirrel was as big as me it could absolutely beat the shit out of me. endobj Thank you for bringing up Ryan Fitzpatrick, who is currently the No. stream endobj Lisa, don’t forget Ohio Rep. Anthony E. Gonzalez! �����c����� kl� I have never heard of anyone mashing their testicles this way and I want my name next to the entry in the nut-crushing encyclopedia. 26 0 obj Getting a new team is very exciting, and this period of hope is arguably the best time to be a fan. I’ll consider any potential answers except Steve Harvey and Ryan Seacrest. The issue we have right now is bridging the gap between people who want to be better and the victims of their wrongdoings. stream Seems like we need to agree as a society here. ��ebbbbbN���������C`Y�X�X�X�X�X��!��@�@�@�@�@���XV V V V V V�t,+++++++pg������8� Living with shame of your past actions can often drive you to be a better person. Example: Also, the majority of these so-called “advancements” have really come to the benefit of a de facto ruling class, and have greatly helped in increasing income inequality. stream stream You have to separate the chaff from the wheat. Drew is off this week. Poems for children includes poems for kids, famous children poems and poems by kids. It’s possible you also just have some sweaty-ass feet. So using my average American knowledge, in lieu of going back to the 1900s and giving those racists the internet, I would simply go back to February 2004, and instead of letting Mark Zuckerberg invent Facebook, I would take him to the nearest brothel so he could exchange money for sex instead of creating a website to spite women. There is no such thing as a two-album fluke, especially in 2020. �z@� �0& Because Trump is a big baby, he definitely complained the whole way on the drive to the park, then was in awe as soon as he got there. <> �z@� �0& �z@� �0& endstream I don’t know what we do about that! Let people be fans! If there’s a way to inflict pain on testicles, whether on accident or purpose, man has done it. 22 0 obj Thank you for posting a colorful slideshow about how mRNA vaccines work, Jennifer, but I’m still clicking through that thing without reading a single word. Expansion squads—Vegas hockey excluded—almost always suck right away. Instead of framing it as advice, have you told your girlfriend about your own experience with food? +�p�٧��A��q}̾�����_b���Օ�и�����B8�+���2@T��P� R�>�~�2 Plus mid-day snacks of cereal and milk. endobj �!>� endobj �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ endstream And buy Drew’s new novel while you’re at it. He probably sucks the chocolate off, saves the wafers, and calls them his babies. He’s been, if only to see if he can build a golf course or hotel on or over the reason the space exists as a national park in the first place. <> What are the terms of this fight with a squirrel? Bum. 21 0 obj endstream And yet, 90% of the time I still opt for the slippers, because it is less work, or I’m conditioned to do this by Big Slipper. What if they suck ass? Do I definitely enjoy my iPhone? Namely about how all the transphobic jokes and memes I used to laugh at and share back in high school are now coming back to personally bite me in the ass. endobj 31 0 obj Not in like an “Oh no now they’re coming to cancel me!” way. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I know we drag Marmalard for running his own Christian days camp filled with his gaggle of kids, but did you know Ryan Fitzpatrick has SEVEN kids?! <> endobj The only way left to be “hit” in the nuts is to be strapped to a chair by a supervillain with a laser slowly creeping up to your groin. Signed, Rohan Madkami. �;�eu*��o Ds]y�R��M�p|#����O�]�bj�*7�Ԁi�X�:��4�>�f�6��%*��J;a�V3� 6P� bC*����hj"�:EPn��2/��p1 !lD�!��$TE™�sKhY����ŮPX?d���#���C��U@ Are you meeting in a ring/octagon? I bet Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t even bite into his Kit Kats. 9 0 obj So please, let’s all agree to be active listeners from this point forward. I assume, for you, it would be the penchant for ALL CAPS HYPERBOLE. Ultimately, I do think you could probably get away with kicking a three-foot squirrel enough to survive. What is your most Trumpian quality? Something you think we should know? In other situations, I feel as if the average cis person is either unaware of the bigotry they’ve perpetuated, or at the other end of the spectrum, feels really guilty about it. <> � endobj x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� .� Me, I have terrible taste in food (pretty much every food conversation on the pod feels like a personal attack) and am also cursed with tiny hand syndrome. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ Another difference between you and the squirrel is that in a fight, you’re probably trying to get the squirrel to run away. Or are slippers bullshit? I think that’s a much more appropriate conversation to have and one that would resonate with her more than whatever concerns you have about her diet. endstream 4 0 obj endobj I like your chances better inside of a human-made structure because that mitigates the squirrel’s speed. You're all washed up. �h!�h���“j,�g2h�"f��gĉ��qMmR�:�Y{@C&�05I�h�-��z��$C��. s%��'�e8 ���k�;cRs��A���?S,4~(CZ��N��B�����O�$(.t9��|��[jW�T��wG�@�gVZP�?��e�$"iKW� �Ndgaھ"DqY��`X�R��E��H�K�p~�G�S9H��m�p��vK�E�!�(�M��o8:q���X��# endstream endstream 7 0 obj �\ }) x�3R��2�35W(�*T0P�R0T(�Y@��� ��Dp�H�l3Y�� (�����I� S��C��Zǵ�(�g�Uȫ��aTQ"F�DCm�� P։t��u�r�my�H�`tV�*��!IV�����jRL>I�����(v��d�XC���đ�ن��2�Ơ��NG�ua���2��dm�;Yl�{ª(+#Vh�6�5*�D 20 0 obj He’s a former opera singer (check), who at least outwardly relates to other people well (check), doesn’t seem to be obnoxious (check), has a classic talk show host voice (check), is just recognizable enough (check), and is just enough of a smart ass to dump on people who give stupid answers without ruining the fun (double check).Do you have any other ideas? � I would definitely trust LeBron as president. First of all, congratulations to your girlfriend, who is eating my dream diet. I started calling my friend Yoni “Yon Capone” when we were teenagers and the moniker has stuck for well over a decade. �z@� �0&�2�Գ��ɹ So let’s turn the tables and let Minhaj host, even though he only scored a 1310 on his SATs. �����c����� ks� �z@� �0& Are we doomed to be dealing with Senator Tawmmy in 10 years? (Shout out to my friend Ashley Fetters who named Dabo immediately when I described the kind of person who would be elected in 2020.). Though he admittedly had a largely forgettable football career as one of Peyton Manning’s sacrificial lambs running across the middle of the field for the Colts, he’s been in the House of Representatives since 2018.

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